There are people that you need to meet just a few times to realise that there is something about their ways that intrigue you. The beauty of those encounters is not to be denied, on the contrary, I believe they are to be enjoyed and explored as interesting people is a very scarce resource these days. But as reality at times can be a bit cruel, the intentions and interests of two people starting to interact often differ and your own interest might grow beyond that of friendship while the other person does not seek that kind of attention from you. Reality can decide that your possibilities for getting to know somebody better are limited by a somehow tangible reason such as distance – or the direct slap in the face such as the other person simply not gaining the same amount of stimulation from interacting with you.
Curiosity is a vicious little feeling when it gets abruptly interrupted. If somebody got your attention and you never got to further explore this person it can be very difficult to let go. Instead, you give your object of interest its own little room in your head and let it sit there and grow on you.
What often happens in that room is a process of glorification, you focus on the details that caught your interest in the first place while wondering about the rest. Curiosity tries to force you to fill in the blanks, and when you get blocked by reality, you panic and act irrational. You persuade yourself that this one is somebody you must fight for and that you just have to know what might have been.
It’s easy to forget the two most important details in this very classic situation – you don’t even actually know this person, and we are all people with our own preferences, thoughts and an ability to act, so if your object of obsession doesn’t respond to your attempts, you might just need to respect that.
Bebo y Cigala – Lágrimas Negras
Lágrimas Negras (2003)
“Aunque tú me has echado en el abandono
aunque tú has matado mis ilusiones,
en vez de maldecirte con justo encono
en mis sueños te colmo de bendiciones.
Sufro la inmensa pena de tu extravío
siento el dolor profundo de tu partida
y lloro sin que tú sepas que el llanto mío
tiene lágrimas negras como mi vida.”