Too much to ask for.

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Being able to look forward to things and plan ahead. Being able to build a base.

Staying open to opportunities is a wonderful way of allowing them to unexpectedly surprise you and transform status quo to actual plans and excitement for new experiences. Yay! Great. Hallelujah.

I’m still signing for and agreeing with the above. However, frankly, it is starting to kill me a little. Uncertainty, that omnipresent feeling of my past three years. Life on the edge, life in a backpack, life dedicated to collecting as much professional experience, interesting meetings and weekend trips as possible. It’s been overwhelmingly fruitful, I will not state otherwise, but it is a bit harsh on the personal side. On relations. On stability.

I told one of my most appreciated and loved friends that we would meet up very soon. I have it all figured out and calculated, the when, how and where. But still, I can’t afford to close myself to opportunity if or when it arises. Meaning that I can’t afford to promise that I will actually be there to meet up.

Now that I think of it, while being very free and flexible in spirit and allowing myself to move my entire existence with three days notice in the search for something fresh, I’m actually captured and locked up by not being able to make any long term personal commitments. Or buy things that won’t fit in a backpack.

Then, on the other hand, I’m in love with my job. I adore the learning process. So is my professional development my base? Is being able to “plan ahead” too much to ask for and not actually what I am seeking in life at this point? Actually, when I think of it, the times when I did plan a lot ahead was when I was very bored with every-day life. And I still plan, I always do, I just can’t really guarantee anything.

Go to sleep, Caroline. You’re having one of those mellow, lonely days.

Wait, wait, there’s a twist here. I decided at an early stage in life that there is no thing that one can’t aim for. No thing is too much to ask for. So all I actually need to do now is to decide what my aim is. Ensure that it’s balanced enough to inspire both of my personalities. And go for it.

Thank you, UNICEF Nicaragua.

Managed to get most part of the office together in our beautiful little UNICEF patio to stop time for a moment.

My time here is running to an end, and I will soon be leaving another country and yet another office. Things are to be learnt in every new place one works in, the interpersonal culture, the working structures and the hierarchies, as well as the protocol and the information flow. Each office is very different and it’s always a challenge to quickly understand what the underlying structures and limitations are, who the individuals in charge of energy and priority flows are, locating the true diplomat, the drama-starter, the teacher, the caring parent, the inspiring genius and those people that will be your trusted and remembered friends always. So, tailoring one’s communication style and interpersonal approach comes with each new culture and place, and isn’t always the easiest task – I have been trying to extract the essence of what is efficient and what is not. The key is, however, that it’s simply different in each and every place, that it all depends on the individuals, and that the contrasts are huge – which makes it an even more fruitful learning experience.

The concept of “different perspective” is a great example of what in some places is very appreciated, and in others hard to apply. Innovation, change, creativity, observations, improvement and other buzzwords that mean the world and people love using and always ask for, but aren’t always prepared to receive. How does one value creativity, anyway? And most importantly, how does one value individual, personal opinion and observations? On my own part, I have learnt to love feedback and always ask for it, as there is no thing that makes me and my abilities grow more than a set of well crafted, constructive comments. Sometimes they are known to you, sometimes they are difficulties you already knew you have to work on, sometimes they are qualities you had no idea you were actually really good at or impressions you have created that turn out to be a complete surprise. And no matter if an observation one receives is “valid” in one’s own opinion and one chooses to take them into consideration or not, they have been the impression of somebody. That’s the most beautiful and powerful thing about opinions and perspectives, there is no such thing as a wrong one. Which is why I measure them in gold. 

People here in the office have been great in many ways. I have been under the direct supervision of two leaders with open doors and a huge amount of experience, supporting, advicing and sharing. I have met people that have been in the system for many years, and had long talks about just about anything with people who like to inspire and the drivers who like to tell interesting stories. Most importantly, I have learnt a lot of new skills professionally, gotten advice on directions to continue in, and made new friends.

So I am very happy to have this picture to remember where all of it originally came from. Thank you all!

By the way, I’m taking the picture with my Canon EOS 6D smartphone application, how wonderful is technology?!

Budget Luxuries

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I sometimes live in cities where public parks and beaches aren’t as accessible as they should be, considering the fantastic weather one is offered. I can’t afford to have my own pool and beautiful garden, so I always make sure to find a hotel close by instead, where I can go for lunch and a break from work and other responsibilities. The perfect solution to treating oneself with little luxuries in life while on a budget.

The rainy season is on, so we are having a classic rain/sun day today in Managua – this means you take a swim in the pool while it’s raining, to then get up and relax in the sun. Beautiful.

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Very related: “Fruit & quality of life“, Mozambique 2012

Tropical midsummer night

The night in the Ikaria eco hostel was amazing and relaxing. Being on a very small island with a group of warm and charismatic people makes you bond fast and we shared a lot of laughs, thoughts and talks while swimming in the pool under this year’s biggest moon. We slept with the balcony open, listening to the water just next to us hitting against the rock wall of the little islet – Ikaria is a truly peaceful place. We didn’t get to celebrate a typical Swedish midsummer this year either, but as a friend brought us Hawaiian lei’s, we transformed our night into one of celebrating not only life, but also diversity and opportunities.